Things to do while not writing your thesis… Part One

1) Watch the sugar-replacement tablets dissolve in your cup of tea. Time how long it takes for them to fade into the surrounding tea gloom (17 seconds)

2) Rail inwardlly at the incompetence of the inventor of Blu-tac. Shake your fist at the heavens (or, more accurately, in the Blu-tac inventor’s general direction) as the pictures on your office walls drift to the floor, while lurid blue gobs are left behind to mock the world with their resilience. Mentally compose a letter to the Blu-tac inventor, and suggest that he makes it an irrevocable policy that all future Blu-tac packages are tested for durability against the heat of an Australian summer. If said packages can’t even hold the weight of a bloody 8.5×11 piece of paper when the mercury rises higher than, say, 18 degrees, then the Blu-tac should bloody well be recalled, never to be seen by man nor beast ever again.

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